Bemused
by Lupey Lycan
Summary: The harder I fought the tides, the more they swept me under. Things have a habit of building up until it's just too much to handle, don't they? -VanShion AU- Rated for language.
1. Agree, even if you're confused

**A.N.)) **I haven't written a FF in so long. Like, eons. Anyways, my VanShion muses have been a'churnin so I pumped this chapter out and it turned into a full blown project... hopefully one that I'll finish. /deadpan

I own nothing. Square Enix and Disney are Gods.

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><p>"What's wrong, Xion?" I hadn't noticed I had been daydreaming, again, and it took Riku's voice to snap me back to reality. Between trying to choose a college, working part time, and studying for finals... well, I was a bit distracted. As if I wasn't scatterbrained enough as it was.<p>

I looked up just in time to see Roxas's character head shot me off the screen, his demented laughter ringing in my headset. "Asleep at the wheel? I'm not going easy on you, even if you are acting like a zombie." Within seconds, he was vaporized as well, only the scorch marks on the ground proving he was ever really there in the first place. Sora giggled and I was almost positive he was grinning ear to ear.

"Be nice to Xion, she can kick all of our asses blindfolded." A smirk creeps up on me; Sora always knows what to say. That was part of what made him lovable, his ability to playfully defend anyone without anybody being antagonized. Roxas, on the other hand, was a short fused and naturally irritable fellow. Many a friend has endured a thrashing from speaking to my ill-tempered friend at the wrong time.

"You know I kid. I do challenge te latter of Sora's theory... I could totally take her down with my hands ripped off my wrists." He teased, a chuckle following soon after. "Ex or not, she isn't too scary." I smiled to myself, eyes narrowing as I mashed buttons furiously. Thirty two combo hits later, Roxas's life gauge was null and void. "You were saying, darling? I do believe you're dead." I coo into my microphone, earning a tormented groan in response. "Not fair. I have a life, I don't play video games all day."

Riku scoffed and Sora laughed. "That's a damn lie, Roxas. We both know you're an inside kind of kid. Big kids like me play real sports; you might scrape your knee." Riku, being in college already, enjoyed having this sense of seniority over us 'babies', flaunting it often. The other two quickly rebuted, arguing frantically.

I didn't hear much of it, however, as my train of thought was once again interupted. "Xion? I'm going grocery shopping... mind coming with me?" Kairi leaned against my doorframe, arms crossed as she glanced over my 'man cave', as she called it. Empty ice cream containers, video game cases everywhere, dirty clothes scattered... a twinge of embarasment gnawed at me.

"I was going to clean later." I defended weakly. She raised a brow and I rubbed the back of my head nervously. "I have to go guys. My sister's about to give me hell. It was nice knowing you." Noises of dissapointment filled my ears. "Tell Sora's lady friend we said hello, will you?" Riku baited mischeviously, only begetting more argument.

I flip off my system and turn to Kairi, now inspecting an empty bag of cookies on my bed. "You're going to get ants, you know." I gave her a tired glare as I pulled on my shoes and jacket. "I'm more worried that we're out of sea salt ice cream. We should hurry up before I suffer from withdrawls." She rolled her eyes at me, smile spred across her lips per usual. "You're ridiculous sometimes, Xion."

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><p>"How about these?" I shook a box of Fruity Pebbles. She took them from me and placed them back on the shelf, instead tossing a box of Special K in our cart. I swear, I don't know how I could possibly be related to her. "Ick." I grumble to myself, to her amusement.<p>

"It's good for you, Xion. You eat too much junk as it is, fatty." She teased. I put my hands on my hips and stuck my tongue out defiantly. "Maybe I want to get fat. Carbs are delicious." She choked back a laugh, turning her attention to a box of instant rice. "Pepper steak and rice for dinner?" I grinned and nodded.

"So.." She mused, pushing the bangs from her eyes. "Are you coming with me to the islands over break?" I bit my lip. Summer break was long. Months. Going to Destiny Islands would mean not seeing any of my friends here until school started up again and I was buried in work.

It also meant seeing Roxas and Axel for the first time since Christmas.

I missed them and I couldn't deny it. They were _the _best friends I had ever had. Riku and Sora would also want to see me while I wasn't too swamped with essays and algebra to be any fun. Truth be told, I craved fun. I'd be free for the first time in too long and I needed something to do.

"Yeah. I will." I finally answered, giving a nod as I pick up a box of donuts. Almost as soon as I put them in the cart, my sister had placed them back on the shelf. I tried to glare harder but she seemed indifferent. "I'm glad... it wouldn't be as much fun if you didn't. Roxas would be livid."

She wheeled into the checkout lane, grabbing us a pair of sodas from the fridge next to it. At least I could have something caffeinated without her riding my ass about it. Kairi, being a tad bit of a health freak, went with diet-zero-reduced something or another. She had enough sense to get me regular."

The cashier rang up our items dutifully as we continued to chat. Once we located our car and loaded the bags, she gave me her infamous grin. The one that reminded me of Sora right before he did something completely insane. "One week. One week until we're hitting the beach and seeing our friends. Get's your heart racing, doesn't it?"

I nodded. Memories of the soft sand, the warm sand, and the salty waves brought a great feeling of nostalgia. I missed the islands, not just my friends. Twilight Town was nice, beautiful even, but it couldn't hold a candle to the place of our summer escapes, our greatest adventures.

I learned to swim on those shores. Kairi met her prince charming. Summer on the islands was the highlight of the year, when we did get to go. The years we didn't... it was as if there was no vacation at all. I had friends here who missed me, who deplored that I vanished for so long without much notice.

It wasn't like I could help it. If they ever went, they wouldn't be able to stay away either.

"I'm excited. You know I am... I just wish I didn't have to choose between friends. Olette's already asked me to stay." I frowned slightly. "Things aren't ever simple enough, are they Kairi?" She smiled ruefully, eyes focused on her hands as she clicked her seatbelt into place.

"No, they never are. But maybe that's what makes life great... living through the challenges." She glanced at me. "You'll get through it all. I know it seems like everything is piling up. You'll do fine Xion..." She ruffles my hair, as if she is my wise elder of ten years rather than two, much to my dismay. "Just drive."


	2. Smile, even if you're sad

**A.N.)) **Two chapters in one day... damn, I need a new hobby. xD I apologize for the lack of action or... entertainment as of yet. She'll be getting to the island in the next chapter or so. It will be much better, I promise... = u = ; ;

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><p>My heart was practically bursting with anticipation, goosebumps running up and down my arms. <em>Please. My studying had to mean something. It has to be an A.<em> My own thoughts were interrupted by my shaky breathing. "Calm down, Xion. You did fine. I know it." Olette offered, a sincere smile gracing her lips.

My ears were deaf to any consolidates; fear blocking out any and all rationale. "Open.. open it for me. Please." I muttered shakily, Hayner rolling his eyes at me. Swiping the report card from my grasp, he feigned absolute horror. "It says you did so terribly, your parents are putting you up for adoption and you're being deported from the country. Shame."

Olette nudged him forcefully in the ribs as I scowled with such an intensity that he averted his gaze. "I'm just pulling your leg, no need to get so touchy..." He smiled at me and put a hand on my shoulder. "Ninety-one." A grin forced itself onto my features; I could cry I was so happy. That is, if I wasn't in the middle of a classroom.

"Thank God. I was so terrified." I had noticed I had been holding my breath; my knuckles had turned white from the grip I had on my desk. Hayner scoffed, running a hand through his already scruffy hair. "As if. Do you know how obnoxious it is for a genius to worry about her grades?"

Another elbow jab via Olette. He muttered apologies as I tried to help myself from laughing. "You know I'm terrible at Math. And I need the grades if I'm going to-" Olette cut me off. "Get into a good school, we know. At this rate, you can go anywhere you want, Xion."

Hayner crossed his arms and lean back in his chair, earning him a reprimanding glare from our teacher. Correcting his posture quickly, he sighed. "If you aren't good at it, taking an AP class was pretty stupid, don'tcha think?" I just laughed, not being able to argue. It was stupid. Sometimes, _I _was stupid. Too late now.

"So, you spending your summer on the islands?" He raised a brow at me, expression passive. I bit my lip. This was the moment I had been dreading. I muttered something under my breath but he either didn't hear or didn't want to. "What was that? You'll have to speak up."

"Yeah, I am." I gave them a apologetic look. "I don't get to see Roxas... ever. I feel really bad abou-" Olette shook her head, holding up her hand. "It's fine Xion. We figured you would... we understand. Just keep in touch, alright?" Hayner looked like he wanted to argue but held his tongue.

"First Pence goes off to that photography school... then you going off for the whole summer. This blows." He huffed, pouting very much like a child. "How are we supposed to beat Seifer's gang if the crew is down to me and a girl..." Olette gave him a stern gaze. "Excuse me? I'll have no part in your little gang war... and what is that supposed to mean?"

"Erm... that you're my friend and I cherish your company?" He replied awkwardly. We all just laughed. These were the moments I would miss the most; just me and my friends acting like idiots. It's odd that the memories we care about the most are the ones that mean the least.

The bell rang and I turned to the door, something pulling on my heartstrings. Having a good time like this was making it even harder to leave. "I guess it's time to go. I'll... I'll see you guys when I see you, okay?" Olette hugged me; Hayner even attempted some sort of awkward one armed embrace. "Have a good one Xion. Stay out of trouble." He smiled and gave me a pat on the back before the two of them started out of the room together.

I gathered my things, giving the classroom one last glance for nostalgia's sake. I couldn't wait to get on that warm and sunny shore because right then I felt colder than I had in God knows how long. The last days always made me sad. The bittersweet exchange of parting between friends was never something I was good with.

The hallways were desolate, as far as it usually went. Tons of students liked to skip out on the last couple of days so it always ended up being like this. The noise of the year was gone, the lively chatter died out. A few people waved at me and I waved back but my mind was in a daze.

It was over already? A year had gone in the blink of an eye.

Kairi would lecture me on how silly it was to be so sad that school was over. It was silly, I kept telling myself. _But- _A voice in my head reminded me. _If work goes by so fast, summer will be gone before it even starts. _It was a rueful thought but true nonetheless.

When I was with Roxas and Axel, a lifetime could pass in a few moments.

_No. I won't think of it that way. The time will mean something. _I tell myself. _Even if it's gone before I know it, I'll still have a good time. _My feet shuffled across the parking lot pavement sluggishly. When I daydream, my awareness levels plummet. At least, that's the excuse I'm using after running into a lamp post.

I fell back with a muffled thud, landing square on my tail-bone. Something warm dripped from my nose and my hand flew up immediately. Blood. Well shit. My thoughts were interrupted by my sister, who was roaring with laughter in the car not too far off. Glad somebody can find humor in the situation.

I stumbled over to the car and she handed me a napkin from the console, trying not to laugh at my pain too blatantly. I held it to my face dutifully and scowled. "So.." She said in between snickers. "How was school today, Xion?"


End file.
